The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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