she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
