I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
