her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
