so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
