another moral hangover. fuck.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
