Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
