Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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