Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
