Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
