Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I will be naked everywhere
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
