She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Operation Purity has been aborted
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I am available for nakedness
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
