im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
