just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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