its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize