I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
