Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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