Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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