She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
