Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
