Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
