Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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