Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
