Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
