his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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