yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
