the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
