I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
