hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That accounts for only three of the penises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
