Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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