I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
