If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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