I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just high enough for therapy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
