Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
