Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
