he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
