Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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