how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
