if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
