Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize