pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
50% drunk capacity currently
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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