I will die if light touches me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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