Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
