There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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