I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
