The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
