who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize