YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
