So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
