It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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