we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize