its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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