On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
