Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
