uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No I am not eating basil off your cock
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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