apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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