plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
