I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
