Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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