At least make sure they are 18
Why
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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