I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize