I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
zippers are such a cool invention
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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