We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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