well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
