Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
