So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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