One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
