i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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