i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
