just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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