Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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