I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
