so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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