i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
