handjob tips. give me some.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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