I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Randomize
