So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can I color on your dick again?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize