I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
this boner is exhausting
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There's always time for handjobs
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
