I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize